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Attract the Right Job or Clientele:
Starting A New Business Can Feel Like Dating
According to Dr. Noah Laracy, a clinical psychologist. in Los Angeles, CA, there are two of the biggest fears that no one wants to talk about:
- Fear of abandonment
- Fear of rejection
He shares why starting a new business is challenging and how we can be aware of raise issues we never saw coming.
The Usual: To ensure a stable bottom line with room for pending business growth, consider setting up an LLC or S-Corp, renting office space, building your website, and completing other external tasks that may be seen as financially and mentally challenging.
When reading our guest blog by Noah Laracy, the lyrics of Julie Andrews’s “Climb Every Mountain!” come to mind. Laracy is a psychologist who specializes in fear and anxiety. He discusses how starting a new business can feel like dating and includes steps to overcome many challenges.
Business classes and MBA programs can help you overcome the above-mentioned issues. However, overcoming hidden, unseen obstacles is critical, not necessarily covered in any school.
Almost no one speaks about these internal challenges as they don’t want to appear incapable. Once again, two of the biggest fears are the fear of abandonment and the fear of rejection.
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Starting A New Business Can Feel Like Dating
Image by John Hain via Pixabay
Business classes and MBA programs can help you overcome the abovementioned issues. However, overcoming hidden, unseen obstacles is critical, not necessarily covered in any school.
Almost no one speaks about these internal challenges as they don’t want to appear incapable. Two of the biggest fears are:
- Overcoming the fear of abandonment
- The fear of rejection.
Becoming a psychologist was a second career for me. I had gone back to school at age 37 to get my doctorate, and I had to make it work. I spoke with my mentor about the next steps when I finished training. The traditional route was to work for an agency or a group practice first that can feed you clients, but they take a significant percentage of what you make. This is the lower risk but also a lower reward model.
Next, I discussed skipping this part and just going out on my own right away. He told me with confidence that I was good enough to do it. I remembered being taken aback by his belief in me – I was deeply moved by it. I thought of this moment often, over a year, given I wasn’t sure I could do it, when I doubted my decision, and when I wanted to quit.
Can there be a fear of abandonment in business?
Note: There is a reason why people stay at corporations and other institutions: They provide a felt sense of security. However, fulfilling satisfaction isn’t quite the same as thriving independently with collaborative others.
Once you go out alone, vulnerability and even the feeling of abandonment come into play. There is a feeling of being untethered – meaning being free-floating and alone in the world. This is a terrifying feeling, and you need to prepare for it. This isn’t
A weakness – far from it. It’s something hard-wired into our limbic system; it’s part of what makes us human. We are social creatures and have evolved to live in groups, not alone. Starting your own business can trigger this fear of being outside the group, which can be scary and debilitating. I relied heavily on friends and my mentor during the first year to remind me that I was ok and that things would work out.
TIP: Before going out alone, make sure you have a few friends, family members, or a therapist to support you. You’ll need their belief in you when the inevitable moments of doubt and uncertainty arise.
Aspects of A New Business Feel Like Dating
I had to go out and relay my services to new clients on intro calls, which are like first dates. A few clients were mine initially, and I wanted each intro call to work out. I developed a script that I would use to know exactly what to say. I would ensure I was in a quiet space and gave each call total concentration. Yet I converted only about a third of my calls. Something had to change. I realized that I was playing it safe. I was focused on not making mistakes and not being rejected.
Sounding Desperate
I threw away the script and focused more on my client’s needs. I was careful not to sound desperate, even though I was. I became less invested in the result of the call. Rather than set aside time or try to make the call “perfect,” I did them in the car on the way to work or home. The script was tossed aside for genuine conversations, making the results remarkable – I began converting close to eighty percent!
Success Factors
Know that people hear and see the desperation in our tone of voice and facial expressions. Any attempt to control and sway the conversation will turn a prospect off 100%.
TIP: The more desperate you are, the more likely you will be rejected. The less desperate you are, the less you will be rejected.
Overcoming the Initial Phase
Admittedly, we are each a little desperate to prove we have what it takes to be successful. For many, the expression ‘fake it until you make it’ is a reality; however, it’s a poor idea. Desperation and fudging the facts only lead to trouble and more challenging times. This is a lot harder than it appears.
Setting your price or standard is critical. You should refrain from deflating your offerings or standing by lowballing even if you need the money. It’s vital to hold yourself to a higher standard, even initially. Know that no one agrees on pricing services, so it’s best to keep principles in check and do what’s right on your end. It can include selling at the list price, assuming your service is highly admired.
Today’s Journey
Today, I have a surplus of clients and left desperation far behind. Rejection occurs on occasion but is infrequent compared to yesterday. Survival mode is long gone, and I want
to expand my reach beyond my practice. I recently completed writing a book called The Iron Path, which outlines my strategies for growing your courage.
Conclusion: Starting A New Business Can Feel Like Dating
Securing a support system before trying something on your own is beneficial. If you don’t have one, consider hiring a therapist or coach. Have them in place before you get started. Don’t underestimate the feeling of abandonment because even long-term friends can become threatened by the success, they see you attaining.
It’s critical to work on not appearing desperate and prepare yourself for the inevitable rejections. They will come. Establish a set of standards for yourself and follow them no matter what. Reach out to a trusted colleague to ensure you are valuing yourself accurately.
The fear of abandonment and rejection is accurate, and many people starting a business experience them; you are not alone. However, this is common and something you can overcome with the right support system and mindset. Connect with Laracy on Linkedin and Instagram, and register to receive his articles about growing your courage.
For more Insights, Visit Elinor’s Amazon Author Page
Communicate to Attract Interest
Be A Story-Teller
“Believe, Become, Empower”
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Sales Tips: Starting A New Business Can Feel Like Dating
1. Commit to your long-term vision for accomplishment(s) to enjoy business success.
2. Privately review what frightens you and get the help you may need.
3. Research potential competitors to realize how to differentiate your company.
4. Create a standout name and brand and proudly focus on your uniqueness.
5. Work alone until you find trusted collaborative partners.
6. After an introduction, inquire of the prospect about what caught their attention to encourage them to speak with you.
7. Listen carefully to realize multiple possibilities, and always ask for clarification when something is unclear to establish trust further.
8. Review daily goals and prioritize classes to improve your outreach.
9. ‘Don’t give up – find a better way!’
10. Celebrate Success!
Today’s insights are provided to help you achieve the Smooth Sale!
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